I'm a Social Media Expert...Get Me Outta Here!!!!!!

Well, yes, I haven't been blogging for a bit which is bad for a social media practitioner but there has been
contracts to sign, people to sell to!

So look out for Andiamo Giffnock...Andiamo Milngavie and Andiamo Hamilton as well as some bespoke content at the Milngavie Book and Arts Festival...as well as some other stuff I haven't quite sealed the deal on!

So yes, I have been busy but one thing I cannot leave is the fact that on my travels and my research I constantly
see Social Media Gurus trying to sell the secret to their million dollar success.  It's beginning to get on my proverbials.

Let me just say, I do not think these American marketeers who send you countless webinar times and subjects are making the kind of money they say they are especially in the field of social networking.

There is one lady who talks about being so rich by doing just a few posts per day for her clients that she just has to sell you her tutorial in order for you to replicate her success.  Aye right luv, pull the other one!

By all means buy these online tutorials if you want but being a cynical ex-comedy performer, writer and radio presenter I would happily go onstage or on air and accuse them of being full of it!

In my opinion don't be beguiled into buying an experts Modus Operandi - all the information you need is freely available.  It's out there and if you are British then the British clients you want to bag will just be as cynical as you - we're British!  All this American blarny doesn't quite fit with clients I've met...in my opinion!

So get your own...opinions!!!   If you want to run your own operation on Facebook etc you can and you can do it without recourse to smooth talking Americans selling you e-pamphlets and video tutorials...trust me..you can!!!

One of Scatter The Patter's best sellers is our £99 set-up and push pack.  This is where we set up all your social networks and then help you write and get started by a simple push...oh and by social networks I mean landing pages, promotion pages, bespoke coupons and one podcast and one video.  I assume you'll have photos so for £99 you'll have Custom tabs, bespoke multi-,media content and even a facebook compliant competition or sweepstake going on!

And if you still want to do it all yourself, well buy the tutorials or better still buy me a drink...but just not American Cream Soda.

Not So Much The Blogs In Your Life As The Life In Your Blogs

I'm just back from a sortie to Edinburgh - a sortie in this case means it was only a quick visit to pave the way for a much larger invasion; and by 'larger' I mean without the 'r'.

Edinburgh is a global phenomenon.  I was on BBC5Live last week trying to explain why and of course I didn't do it justice after seeing it once more in the flesh.

And what's interesting is how technology and social media has really caught on.  Gone are the days when you could re-write a rubbish review....eh, not that I...eh, never in a month of Stella's.

(there is a rude joke here about one going down very well but Scatter the Patter would like to distance itself from such Festival Fringe ribaldry)


There's no hiding space once audience members have a bad time and hit Facebook, Twitter and review related sites.

However I wasn't supposed to go into specifically Edinburgh but it's perfect for smartphone technology and the world of apps.

Check out............

http://www.pleasance.co.uk/iphone

and

http://www.theatreninjas.co.uk/

...............................................to name but 2.  There's a massive visiting transient population who will only carry a wallet, keys and a phone, so in my book the smartphone market at Edinburgh will rocket.... and yes, we are working on something we speak!

Anyway, I was wanting to talk about blogs!  Edinburgh  made me think of the incredible amount of work and effort each performer has put into not only creating/performing their show but also in marketing it as well.

Yes it is easy to write a lot off as rubbish but they have brought a product to the world's biggest arts festival which is not unlike you bringing a product to market - some will work, others won't and not all for just and fair reasons!

I think we can all take a bit of lesson for any blog writing/marketing you may want to undertake.  For me, too many blogs and quite a lot of Facebook writing is devoid of anything of interest.  If your going to write something, write something that someone else may want to read.  I'm talking about business here by the way.  However it applies to general writing too.

Get what you want to say across early doors - don't prattle on like I've done above on an almost unrelated matter.  Here's some Dallas Do's!!!!


Do give your blog some oomph.  There's nothing worse than fence sitting in a blog.  If your worried about how you may come across and 'fence sit', then DO GIVE UP!  I could have censored my rude joke about the 2 Stellas but I have have written for the extremely sensitive Rangers website and the extremely insensitive Off The Ball radio show.  Most business people will realise writers can turn styles on and off...what you don't want is BLAND...BLAND IS BAD.


Do be a person and a personality so write in the first person about things that interest you!

Do try and tell us something we didn't know last time.

Do try and supply some links, maybe even some media to enjoy and don't worry about people leaving your blog because you've supplied them a link to leave.  We're in the 21st century.  If people want to leave they will, regardless of your link.....so entertain and don't worry about supplying escape routes!

Be funny, sad, happy....be something!  This isn't the FT, this is you.  If you're selling something remember you are the brand at this stage so yes...be something your product is....reflect it in words.

Do have fun.  I think humour sells, especially in blogs and on the social networks.  So go for it!

About the author;

Gordon Dallas suffered horrifically at the hands of Festival reviewers being called a 'googly eyed midget' in one national newspaper.  He writes a blog for the company he started called Scatter the Patter where he's trying to bring some light relief to the serious world of social network marketing.  He's written for Vernon Kaye, Keith Duffy and a host of stars while writing for CBBC - some say he's never actually got out of this child mentality, ( especially his wife).  He's co-founder of DallasCreek productions with Gerry McDade and is involved with Smarfonefootball, a new soccer app coming to market in September.  He's currently Social Media Manager for iSuperfan and has just signed up a local restaurant chain to have their Patter Scattered.  He's done a runner from a pub in Berlin, got booed off in Paris, chased a dodgy promoter who stole the box office through the 'Lanes' of Brighton, appears regularly on 5Live, and is ghost writing a book for a famous footballer. 

When Sport and Social Media Collide, it can be wonderful.. for the tabloids!!

Joey Barton is just a recent example of Tweets getting a player and club at loggerheads, and as an ex-radio presenter I'm loving this latest instalment, it would have kept me going for days!

However with my Social Media Manager's hat on I would have to say tsk tsk.  Clubs and organisations really ought to have a policy sorted out.  Even if they can't stop a member of their organisation going on these
networks, they can at least educate and warn, and at the very most, monitor and respond with their own emergency social media response.

Celebrities have 'people' who do this for them but life will be a colourless place if we are all removed from our football or cultural heroes because they don't do their Twitter/Facebook anymore for fear of saying something wrong.  It really would be a shame to go down this celebrity route even although I and people like me could make money out of it.

And it's the same with the riots, yes Twitter has been used by the mindless thugs but I do not think it should be shut down during these events.  The government or 'them' have to work within it; fight the PR battle and disrupt the unruly.

Yes Twitter looks like an irritant to football clubs and to the government at times but everyone just has to box a little bit cleverer and not seek to outlaw it immediately.

If it can be used for bad it can used for good, but it should be used.

A New Job For A New Landscape

Take a look at this quote;

 Earlier this week, The Drum reported the findings of a survey which claimed that 69% of companies planned on hiring social media managers.

It's from the creative marketing and media people at The Drum - (as an aside, it's funny how age affects people; years ago I used to get The Horn now I look forward to receiving The Drum.  Ah well!)

The full article is here;  http://www.thedrum.co.uk/news/2011/07/29/24223-analysis-what-should-companies-look-for-when-recruiting-a-social-media-manager-/

Anyway, focus!  69% is quite an incredible figure.  Basically through-out the land there's a new job being created and this really only happens once in a generation.

Do you remember when the first big conglomerates had to hire 'mail room staff' as the Penny Post took off?  All the Pigeon handlers were made redundant overnight.  

Telephones also heralded a major recruitment drive when businesses had to find skilled staff able to talk to Bakelite handsets - no mean feat in those days. 

So technology has always driven which type of people need hired from the advent of computers and emails to now, Social Media Management.  

Still feel sorry for the pigeons though!

Anyway, that aside, you have yo ask yourself why?  Why are companies spending £30k and upwards more a year than they did last year?

You may have more suggestions, I would say;

1.  Retention and extension of existing customer base.  Sell more to those who've bought from you already.  Facebook and Twitter means you can be friends with these people long after they've left your premises.  

2. The numbers are so overwhelming.  Something like 500million Facebook users with Twitter not that far behind.

3.  You'll know someone on Facebook!  Everyone's at it and more importantly after they have checked out their pals and some celebs on Facebook, there is increasing evidence that they go to check out their favourite brands.  A subject of another blog but the big names are so good at this.  They're not being loud but rather clever.  Their Facebook pages are an entertaining place to stop where you might win something and/or receive a discount.  Pages that do nothing but sell will go the way of those pigeons I'm afraid.

4. The rules of engagement have changed.  A static website where nothing really happens is a bit boring.  It's a bit last century.  People expect to chat to brands - well the big boys are doing it so it's is the expected thing.  Social Media is well.....social!  If you're not a social brand then don't get involved but of you want to start a conversation with your customers then the tools are all here.....and by tools I don't mean myself...well I do...but I'm not a tool...well I am in one sense...eh....lets move on

and

5. It's fun...yes I could have said if you're not doing it your competitors are but that's so overused I'm not going to use it.  Social Media was created to pick up girls!

                                   (the creator of Facebook with some eh, 'friends'.)

So don't let's get too po faced about things.  This is an online environment where people come to spend quality time, have fun and catch up with friends.  If your brand is one of their 'friends' then surely you are in a great position to sell but that's for another day.